"all is one"

Soul Conversation...

2012-02-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

He was a pale shadow of himself...i have been trying to get over this, get over her he said...but the pain of being treated this way, the pain of being made stupid just because she know i trusted her, the pain of visualizing her real self while she was pretending and lying to me...i cannot cross over it...i just kept listening as he was once again falling apart in front of me...she even cried telling me it was all not true...how can someone go to that extend to play with someone's emotion and trust...has she never experienced real eamotion...you need to forgive my friend...we spoke about this...she did what she did, its fair that you are feeling this way, but you cannot force someone to love you...may be she did not want love at the first place...isn't that your fault? i said being hard on him a little...you were just good with yourself...why did you have to share your world with someone?...i thought i "found her" he said...Listen, this is hard, but you have to let go...someone like her does not deserve your world...you need to shut all your doors that lead into your world...rebuild it with your own hands...and allow no one but yourself into it...it is your space...only your space...a place you go to when you need it...you will miss her presence in that world but learn from this mistake my friend...isn't that the best thing to do now? You know it is...come on...lets go ok...

Its Cold

2012-02-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

Just went for a drive...the thought of waking up again tomorrow morning to talk to my new found friend strike me hard...though talking to him, comforting him every other day comforts me...but i am afraid i am not going to be able to get him through...I feel cold...very cold.....Help me please.....

He asks...

2012-02-05T23:52:00.000-08:00

The real questions are all answered...the remaining questions that linger are simply of grievences...questions that dont actually need answers but more that needs to be understood...understand he can...acceptance he finds trouble...Why did she needed assurance other than mine? he asks...why did she not think of how i would feel if i found out? he asks...why did she think i was also not real? he asks...i never really knew how depression feels, just when i think i am better and out of it, the memories come back and hurt me with every beat...Listening to him, all i said was hang in there buddy...you're going to be stronger than ever soon...i am here with you...

More Conversation...

2012-02-04T06:26:00.000-08:00

How are you doing? I dont know, better i think...Tell me...The whole time i was fighting, trying to convince her that this is not right, though deep in i knew that she knows its not right, but i wanted to believe that she did not know it was not right, so i was fighting to convince her. And she thought i was trying to prove her guilty and she denied...Its ok, cry, let it out my friend...dont worry i am here...She denied, and denied and lied...what she did not know was she was going further and further away from my heart as i kept listening to every lie she was telling me, desperately trying to not be proven guilty...but all i wanted was to convince her, by convincing myself that she did not know...but she went on...further and further...away from where she belong in my heart.....Its ok, let it out...Nothing left anymore...i have quit...quit fighting...trying to quit everything that reminds me of this phase...i want to know where i went wrong, but am afraid to find out at the same time...what will i do when i find out...i am myself afterall...You're right, dont change a thing about you...you are yourself and its best you be yourself...you're real my friend...not many are...Hold my hands...trust me...we will get over this together...i am with you...

My New Found Friend

2012-02-01T04:27:00.000-08:00

Everyday for the past 2 weeks i wake up at 4:30am to talk to him. He tells me me how he is awaken everyday at that hour by the same dream which eventually we agreed that was not a dream but the thought that he takes to sleep. He agrees that he takes the thought to sleep, not just to sleep but everywhere. All i can do at this point other than talking to him in between his sobs is listen. I listen and cry with him sometimes. I know this will pass for him but i dont know when. I know he will be a better person after this phase in his life, and i promise to be with him throughout this phase of his life, until he learns how to smile and laugh for real again.....

Conversation

2012-02-01T03:24:00.000-08:00

The pain is so great...i have faith in myself...i will get out of this...but how did i not see this...how is it that i felt at most comfort then...i prayed that she finds her peace within...though i am in the heart of pain...I will pray for you my friend...i feel your pain...but everything happens for a good reason...have faith on the universe...Where did i go wrong...what did i not do...was it too much...You wear your heart on your sleeve...your speak your mind from heart...you were real...you are the real thing...understand now, though the hard way, that not many are for real...no matter how real they look or say...its not your fault you were real...you are always yourselfFor once i convinced myself to believe someone else more than myself...and look what happened...i have fallen so low that solitude scares me now...i yearn for someone and anyone to be with me now so my mind does not go to that part of my heart...and i keep asking myself... why...i am willing to help still if something is wrong...but she is in denial...even with me...why...These questions have answers deep within you...you need to find yourself back and you will find the answer...you are doing the right thing by praying for her...the same prayer will heal you...trust me my friend...i am with you...no matter how long it takes...i am with you...turn this pain into force that will take your journey further...you have a beautiful journey ahead...let that part of your heart that is filled by the pain stay there...dont work on removing it...for the pain is what will keep you going towards yourself...your real self...

Illusion

2012-01-24T17:53:00.001-08:00

Find your purpose or many purposes will find you, when they find you they will take you deep into the world of illusion, and you shall lose yourself, to the illusionist, that will only wake you, smiling on her success.....

................................

2012-01-20T04:10:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6gHlK-Mm2Y

Return to Yourself

2012-01-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

It was already dark and i knew i had to stay awake until the sunrises. this time i had to, but i always wanted to, so i kind of like this commitment because it is an opportunity. As i stayed up and watched the hours go by, my mind filled with almost one thought the processing of all the thoughts, visions, rationale,logic and unfolding happened quite easily. The tough part was the digesting the truth that was, envisioning what was. But it sank in...slowly but completely. I am clear now, it was an experience i will not forget...the lessons learned and the impact of all this will stick hard in my life for a long time...I will not repeat this mistake, i will trust just myself and not let anything or anyone so close anymore that they can decide which eye i should look with...tell me what to understand...unlearn me...Why? thats the million dollar question that does not seem worth a single cent now...I have myself back and i will move on now...not hurting anyone and anything...just me back with myself, on my journey......

Happy New Year

2011-12-30T23:54:00.000-08:00

Its that time of the year again, last day of the the year, as we look back and think how we are going to move forward, i want to say that i have had an "interesting" year. I have grown, i dont know how much, i'm not sure how much of the growth will be my tools for 2012 journey. I know i will know it, it does put some fear in me this growth, i will accept it, because i trust in this mother that has always guided me. I know she is still with me, i can feel her my hand in hers. I will be the person i am destined to be mother, forgive me for the mistakes i have done, thank you for allowing me to do the mistakes so i know what is not. Thank you for believing in me, guide me that i walk on the path that is destined for me, bless everyone along side my path, give them the courage and faith they need. Tonight i will be reborn, to be a better person, dedicated to fulfill his destiny, his purpose in this world. May his journey bless all other souls along the way. I love you.

Longing for the Unknown

2011-09-24T07:22:00.000-07:00

Take me lord...oh please take me...take me lord...take me.....I have taken you in...that is why you are where you are...go do what you are meant to dear...what you have been destined to...Hold it all in.....it will pass.....actually just let go and cry.....let it out and you'll be fine.....

Desire or Will

2011-08-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

Faith is no desire. Faith is will. Desires are things that need to be satisfied, whereas will is a force. Will changes the space around us.

The question is: Are you ready to change your Desires into Will? Are you willing to face everything that the change will bring?

Passing Route

2011-03-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sitting on the passing route of others and burden people carry with them all day, he feels the joy and anxiety that accompanies them, he feels the wish and dream they ride on with.....

After a few moments of staring onto passing traffic taking many home and away he picks enough vibe that gives him the clarity he needs for the moment.....

He takes a few more sip of the coffee and sits back sinking into the chair to take a deep breath of comfort before thinking of his next adventure.....

Reality

2011-03-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

You are what you do, not what you think you do..... Paulo Coelho

DEATH

2011-03-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

Death will come no matter what,
What matters is what you do till the day it comes.....

This is it.....

2011-02-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

Everyone has a dooms day picked for them, but the worlds dooms day could arise if the creator finds everyone creating dooms day for one another.....
That is nobody's destiny.....

illusion

2011-02-21T19:58:00.000-08:00

Truth

2011-02-17T18:43:00.000-08:00

You are the truth, are you doing what you're doing because you want to do it or simply because it is the next thing to do? Are you for Real!.....

Truth

2011-02-10T01:38:00.000-08:00

The one thing human should be most scared of is themselves, the power that lies within them, the power that is so capable that the owner hides themselves in the home of perception, the home of excuses, the home of blame, the home of common, the home of fear, and many other homes people around the world are continually building, airtight from the truth.....

Grounded

2011-01-31T19:16:00.000-08:00

Watch others, have mercy on them, as they have lost their roof, grounded themselves so much that the ground has made it to the neck, straining their breath, all without them knowing, they came knowing, left not knowing, why they were here, their destiny remains a mystery.....

Comfort

2011-01-25T23:20:00.000-08:00

The greatest battle lives within oneself, the comfort within is the greatest companion of oneself in the battlefield, feed and nurse the comfort within, as they are your best mate, hear the voice within, that says a lot of the comfort within.....

Change

2011-01-24T22:06:00.000-08:00

The sight of change can occur when you least expect it, testing your seat on the comfort zone, the zone most strive to find and struggle to give away, the zone warriors of light never step into.....

Passion

2011-01-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

Find your passion, live your passion with universal rules, you shall find your destiny in the quest, and that is your only obligation whilst on earth.....

Judgement

2011-01-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

I realise how I take longer time to respond in any conversation, before giving any opinion. I am listening twice more than I speak which is actually in quite the right order as we have twice the ability to listen compared to talking. The ‘life experiences” does create an impression on us afterall. We take a step back on any approach as we live because very few approach are too different than our past experiences, which increases as we live longer. We judge, we judge maturity through hair do’s, we judge established through dress code or the car they drive in and out of appointments and we judge likings through face expressions. In all this we think we have more up our sleeves as we live longer, as we age.
Should it all be this way? At a time when reminding ourselves to enjoy at every point is so important, should it be this way. Is this the wisdom we want to develop as we age? Listening more: yes, talking less: may be(it’s also important get our voice heard these days), judging: don’t think so. Though it might save us a lot of hassle in many cases, and understanding that too much of anything is never good, we have yet to explore this art of judging properly to know the extent of it’s use for goodness. I was deciding on a pair of shoes for myself yesterday when I found myself in between Cardin and Polo. I was looking for a replacement to my official shoes. Polo, the gentleman kind of official / casual look, compared to Cardin, the tribal, new age younger look which would certainly have been my choice if I was looking for a casual easy wear pair. It just just me, or the me I want to become and the latter that what people would expect for my type of official functions. How do I want others to judge me? Well the sizes didn’t match and I didn’t buy any, but that’s doesn’t solve anything. Following the crowd is easy, you’ll never be alone, always with an easy to find reference, be judged but not surprised with the judgement. But being different, not just for the sake of being different, but for the sake of being you, or at least towards being you…..always asked of everything, well they don’t understand so they ask, it’s not common hence little reference, did I say more freedom…..
As much as we would find these affirmations in the hidden in corner shelf’s of a bookstore or wrapped up among other books, amongst my friend’s book collection, do we remember the tricks and techniques when faced with one. For goodness sake, get a trick up your sleeves and respond with the magic, it might just give someone an idea.

A Dream

2011-01-16T20:30:00.000-08:00

As I went to bed yesterday I wished for a dream. A dream that is capable of taking me away from this world, deep into my world to see the marvels I had found and received from this world, kept all around that world. The dream took my hand and said, your world is too much, I will take you to spaces in your world that you need now, spaces that is constantly filling every little space your mind leaves empty, even for a while, while dealing with this world, to put a smile on your face, without you even knowing.
The dream knew something I felt, something I don’t know. . .
I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, the kind of feeling you would have if you went to bed crying, and cried yourself to sleep. I switched on the tv and found myself simply staring at it after 15 minutes. The volume was off the whole time and I didn’t know. Got off the bed, headed for shower, I rest my head on the wall, turned on the hot shower and stood there for I don’t know how long. I don’t know the program for today, with so many choices at breakfast I don’t even know what I felt like eating. Back at the room I sat, on the ground hugging my knees, eyes shut, thinking… I knew something; I had A Dream…
I knew the journey, I knew the spaces, I knew where i had been and I don’t want to know why, because I knew it put a smile in me. That is important.

dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his
punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”Oscar
Wilde (1854-1900)

the universal signs

2010-04-12T01:15:00.000-07:00

The universe does not necessarily give you an answer in the way you would expect it. In can indeed show you in a way you never would relate. He shows fir through water, success in failure and bravery in tears... He guides all the balance... All that he is...
Today he showed me something; He showed me you're in charge, through someone's command on her life....

Starting Over

2010-04-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

A phrase that can be tough on you, can be motivating, can be a relief for some and you can get a sigh from some. Its all about the angle we see it from. As it gives relief when our journey gets tough, it can be an addiction, an escape for some, who fear their own power. Push through the phases of life, start over, at different stage, to look at "starting over" like never before.

Photo by: Mundilfari*

priority

2009-10-01T04:19:00.000-07:00

"Enjoy the marvels around you without dropping the oil on the spoon you're entrusted"
Paulo Coelho.

Interesting isn't it. This is a magnificent journey.............

Memory

2009-09-12T03:52:00.000-07:00

After quite a while, stepping back into the zone i used to live in, creates memory, memory i still want to live. looking within to find oneself, and living life once you find yourself is one thing, you know you're still around even when you're not actually physically there. But how does others know? It is against the perception of human relation. But the universe knows, that i am always there for the mother earth and all its creation. Sometimes there are no better way to express it than taking a step back.

Full Moon

2009-04-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

It was full moon yesterday, i went for my very special meditation session and today, i remember the feeling of "feeling good". I understood the 'reasons' behind the two pressuring weeks, and looked up the sky thinking; i got to know how things move up there so i can manage my steps here. As complicated as it sounds, the end answer i got was "always stop, listen, watch and feel the guidance you're being offered as its always there, and everything will be alright." God bless.

What a life

2009-03-25T04:24:00.000-07:00

i heard someone say something very useful yesterday. "He said instead of looking at life as a stright line progressing from birth to live to die, fold the stright line to form a circle. So the process will continue; birth - live - die - birth ..... and on and on. Everything that happens in your life directs and redirects your life. The redirection is like rebirth after any incident that you did not wish to happen in your life (death)" Such a simple understanding yet very powerful (for me it is). It feels great when you say "ok, that was my death, now its my rebirth, what am i going to do differently in this birth?"

Searching?

2009-03-04T19:03:00.000-08:00

This morning, my journey to lightworks, simply to allow myself to be, was just as usual. Except along the drive, i could not help myself noticing people sleeping. In that usual morning traffic, i kept noticing many people sleeping, at the backseat of the van, in the lorry and even in bus stops. What i see is people living in the world that was all the while theirs, but not living it out in this world, i see people detached from their destiny because they believed the universal lie. The lie that says "one day, you will lose control of your life and fate will take over". Me, in my search, even though its difficult sometimes, felt good that the mother is still with me, i can still hear her, i can sense her guidance and the world felt like my friend.

Your Opinion?

2009-02-18T09:09:00.000-08:00

What is sacrifice? Some say its the passage to heaven, what do you say?

"Where the desert meets the ocean"

2009-02-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

The clearance of the desert, despite as clear as it is; transparent, we try to look closer, looking for a sign of movement or anything odd, because we believe in it's existance. Most of the time we find something, the unordinary showing its existance, giving us the assurance there is a greater force around us. The force cannot interfere in our lives, but guides us. Our task is to be able to see its guidance, once you are in the force's frequency, your destiny; your only real obligation, will be yours.

celebration of life

2009-02-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

Being part of a circle; a drum circle simply playing our drums and percussions without any prior planning, working together, filling in the space between each others's beat, finding that timing; until we were "all one". Suddenly we were celebrating, celebrating life. That moment of being one created the feeling of being in trance, with one dancing to the rhythm, others all had a smile on their face, enjoying the feeling of "oneness". Feels like that is what we live for. The best things in the world is free and best shared.

quote for the day

2009-01-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

"the difference between a novice and an expert is CONSISTENCY"

all is one

2009-01-12T00:08:00.000-08:00

As i try to understand the root of 'all is one' i am afraid i would watch life go by in front of me when i am supposed to be in it. When my teacher said "that is the price you pay to be different, to have grown" i said but that is not supposed to work against you, it is supposed to be your quality, working for you. So here i am, trying, still waiting to reach the beginner's luck stage so i can grow more. I may be watching and connecting elements but am practicing it, using it in my life and believe me, it's so close yet so far. But its the journey not the destination, so with as much ying and yang as possible, i am living life.

"control or release"

2009-01-06T07:51:00.000-08:00

Emotions; to control or to release? Control your anger, release your happiness? How is it that we define this? I know of some that believes in not saying much of the planned in fear of it not materializing while some in saying the planned to as a mean of giving commitment to oneself. Tell me what you think? :)

quote for the day

2009-01-03T15:34:00.000-08:00

"give others what you want".
What you think of this?

Tomorrow

2009-01-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

“Thinking of the days you laugh makes you cry, thinking of the days you cried makes you laugh; think of a dream, a dream you need to achieve makes you cry, the uncertainty makes the tears, the tears faith holds back, the faith that keeps you going, the faith on the universe, the mother that you can trust will guide you to the dream, your destiny.”

What do you think destiny is?

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T06:07:00.000-08:00

New vision, new goal, new perspective; all that we try when days like this comes around. We feel motivated, so motivated that we believe we can change; change the way we look or do things, even if we have ben doing it for years, and no surprise, we actually can. The drive this day brings with it is so strong that anything is possible, everything looks possible. these days are like ignition, it ignites the engine inside us, but the feul, the feul that is necessary for us to keep going is Consistency. "the only difference between a novice and an expert is consistency"